5/31/12

Earlier today I felt dry nose crusties. Then at 1:15am left nosebleed. After 15 mins of pinching it stopped and we go back to sleep. Here it is 3:45am and I'm pinching nose again n Daniels still snoring away. Part of a side effect of the shot I'm taking. At least I don't have as much aches n pains as I did the past few nights. I took 800 mg Motrin n nasea pill first. Don't have to take the shots until next chemo round

5/30/12

One more day of this white blood cell producing shot!!! Symptoms feel like freaking flu. Aching all night long!!! Temp only 98.9

5/28/12

Terrible today. Taste buds wacky, tired, achy. Had 99.1 fever at 315am but I got it down. Had pho with the phamily n went to Carl's for a great cookies n cream shake. Thanks honey for not judging me n letting me have it

5/27/12

Nausea kicks in the morning n sometimes before a meal. I do have an appetite but I don't over do it. I like ice cold water not warm in a plastic Contigo bottle. Daniel has been great. He sings as he's doing the dishes, sings while cooking. I allow him to have fun n give me my nightly shot( only until weds though) these shot will help me keep my white cells up. I'm still not smoking. Yay me. Very hard though. I'm compensating by having sugar. Not happy about it but I acknowledge my issues. Took 2 melatonin to help me sleep, no Ativan tonight. Earlier daniel caught me holding onto my left chest. I teared up for a moment. Beat cancer!!

5/26/12

Rested all day with fred trishy sitting while daniel worked a few hours. I had energy to make breakfast but that was it. Dina, cookie n Miguel came over later n we ordered pizza, visited n watched Paul. Hilarious movie! Chest port area still sore. I didn't exercise left arm much as I don't know exactly what to do until PT on the 18. I'm so sick of water!!! Trying to drink 3 qts a day.

5/25/12

Day 2, couldnt nap. Felt pretty good though. Pooped 5 times. Yay one for record books. Linda came over at 1230 n kept me company all day n evening. We visited, laughed, watched hbo series Luck. She washed some dishes made sure I was drinking more water than she was. Looked at the TLC mag I got from ACS. Order online hats, scarves, wigs. Blonde, sandy blonde, black short or long hair. Mmmm u all love surprises. We will see

5/24/12

Ate a delish breakfast with daniel, fred n victor at ihop before chemo. We got to kaiser at 10 n 10 other patients were waiting as well. Some quiet, some have been there before u can tell. It broke the ice for me. I was able to sit where I wanted but nurse Angela said its my first time she wanted me to sit in front of her desk. Barely felt needle into my numb port. Yay. Barely felt medicines go through. Double yay. Watched joyful noise on iPad then took out portable pink cd player from michelle n pushed play for meditation n snoring to follow. Peed alot during treatments so good thing. 11-445 I took 3 chemo treatments. Felt good n hungry. No reaction except very tired. Blessing. Took 2 naseua meds that day

5/23/12

My chest port area is so sore. Probably from clapping so much at Christian fellowship with Marsha. I decided to have a Smirnoff ice instead of anxiety meds, I'll take it tomorrow. Had McDonald's n almond snickers for dinner. Some comfort before metal mouth. I will survive. Looking forward to resting n catching up on shows/ movies this weekend. Maybe I'll get a haircut/manicure Friday or Tuesday

5/20/12

Super Sunday! Woke up 1 hour late to take Nikki to airport. She made it on time. We had a great time catching up, laughing about good times n apologizing for bad times. Can't get away from 3rd grade BFF 4 life!! Around 1130 Maia n yvonne came over
With our favorite Mexican food. Mexic Tipico carnitas, and chili verde(separate dishes) lol. Was great to finally show them the house n n visit with them. Daniel made them exercise n take me for a walk down the block n back. Was a beautiful day n I didn't mind spending it walking with such great n caring friends. Missed Jason though. I was pooped n rested the rest of afternoon watching old Lost episodes til fred arrived. My Vicodin was kicking in by 630 n I was kinda loopy but ready to play some hand n foot-cards. Fred won but we still love him anyways. My neck is in some pain but my right boob n chest port got a workout reaching for cards. My left underarmpit is still bugging me but he said 6-12 weeks to get sensation back. Pt is next month. Tomorrow I have to go n get my new return to extended disability/return work paper. Wonder what date he gave me. I miss my job but I'm not looking forward to my chemo/radiation road ahead. I kinda know what to expect but....hard to be positive when I'm still in pain, I feel strong now n chemo will make me weak. Quit my bitching Trish! There are other people out there with issues bigger than mine. Yay i have insurance, yay for my friends n family!!

Chest port pix

5/16/12

My day started slowly I didn't eat anything until 5 PM I went to my appointment for my chest port procedure I did my lab work at 12:30 didn't go in for surgery and till 3 PM I was done at 4:30 and Daniel was so sweet and brought me a cheeseburger French fry and iced tea from McDonald's and buddy around me was Smillie Nate St. do I get one too so it went home and order pizza when they came over she helps out with Mondry was so awesome I needed help a lot I really didn't feel like having company that I needed to just relax and visit with some good people that came over at 8 o'clock is a fabulous ice cream cake and some chicken wings. Don't judge me it was just what the doctor or Trish ordered thank you so much for the Linda for coming over and Daniel because all made my birthday great even know I was in pain from the chest port procedure today. Its going to be a decent day I have appointment with my surgeon at 12 PM To see how I'm healing and proceed with some physical therapy I hope that he knew that the oncologist did schedule this just pork and that he's not surprised by it and that everything can go forward with the chemo next Thursday looking forward to seeing what physical therapy I can do. it was very difficult to sleep last night I am but it'll get better

5/14/12

Had a good weekend with the inlaws. I feel pretty good with my new padded camisole. Can't wait to get my other one this week. Can't get fitted for a bra for another 4-6 weeks. The right one needs support. She's tender!! Hard to sleep n stay asleep still. Getting on melatonin regiment will help. Get to sleep in a bit tomorrow before 1230 chest port placement. Had great time with Jason, Maia, yvonne, Joanna, alton, Kat n Shirley-kins tonight!! Thank u guys for taking care of daniel n i. Thoughtful. Good to reminisce n giggle. Don't be sad for me. I'm doing whatever dr says to do n I'm getting geared up n prepped for what's coming next. No more fresh flowers for a while. Getting ready for lemony fresh house mind, body n soul.
Good times!

5/10/11

Trying to get comfy but able to sleep a bit more on right side. Walked to dr appointment then treated myself to Carl's jr. Time to myself. I over did it a bit. Back hurt arm a bit sore but walked more than I have!! Took 2 hr nap! Alison picked me up n we went for some beef!! Drove to 2 diff stores to get brownies n ice cream to watch Idol at 8. Then stayed up til midnight to watch The Way. Was excellent. Great day all around. Merry maids. Coming Friday to get ready for inlaws saturday

5/9/12

Had a good day. Went to sleep around midnight-ish, woke up at 7am, 9am but crawled out of bed at 10!!! Took some Vicodin last night. Don't think I can wait to see surgeon next weds. Need him to help me with this bruising on my tricep. I know it's only been 3 weeks but lymph edema is no joke. No cure. It can act up at anytime. Now to the good stuff!!! Linda went with me to marzels in Pleasanton where they speciAlize in breast cancer stuff. Hats, wigs, camisoles, swimsuits. I tried on a few camisoles n cried when I found the one that made me feel great. I didn't know if it was a good cry or a bad one. Once Linda held my shoulders from behind n gave me a little squeeze and didn't say a word, I felt it was cry of relief. I looked n felt normal. I had to strut. Had a little photoshoot with my new rack, grabbed a cute little had n snapped a few more. Went home with what I had tried on. Zipped up front white cami that has aloe in it for 24 washes. The other one will be ready next week. It's 5 weeks to early for a bra but I don't care. I wish I was told sooner about the post mastectomy cami but I'm very happy now.

5/5/12

Went to san leandro marina for a little walk. Went to AW rootbeer to get a float first then walk it off. Couldn't walk much more, didn't want to over do it. Then went to go have yummy Mexican food for early dinner. Took a nap at 6pm!! So sweet, daniel read to me a bit of snow white then dozed off. Tape is slowly coming off by itself. No appointments this week. Going to set up appointment at nordies for bra n camisoles. Can't wait. Thanks for reading.

5/4/12

Couldn't sleep in. Toss n turn as usual. On my back, not comfy, on my right side, slightly comfy. Being alive to feel these feelings, priceless. Dad helped me get my car tuned up/smog/timing belt n water pump. We went to breakfast, with pillow under pit. Oh well at least I wasn't going to go numb in public. Tape still hasn't fallen off stitches yet. Even though surgeon said we can take them off weds. I'm still numb in certain areas of my arm/pit. Hard as well. He will give me exercises on 5/16. Stupid me I still try n clear table with left hand or try n bathe left handed. Took injection infraction test today. It read about 58% but the surgeon or oncologist will confirm soon. Angela said over 55 is good. Weird test and I'm a hard to stick person so of course it hurt. Look up MUGA test n u will understand what/why I'm doing this. I don't quite have a reach but ive been able to put on n take off whife beaters but my right boob is aching for a bra. Going to nordies in Ptown soon to check out fitted cami's n prosthetics. Thanks for listening out there. Got a gift n card from louise today. So freaking thoughtful. I do miss my coworkers!! Okok and chatting it up with my execs too!!

5/3/12

Ok here it goes, this Friday I do a MUGA test. To check my heart function to ensure it can take the chemo meds. 5/15 2pm they are putting iv port in my chest, 5/16 I have 12pm follow up appointment with surgeon, 5/23 I do pre bloodwork for chemo. 5/24 10am start chemo. Noooo I'm not scared--- again!!!! I'm trying to nap, not working with this on my mind

5/2/12

Still in jammies at 8pm. Sang karaoke or watch a lot while dad sang. Had a ball. Tried to lay down n rest n just couldn't. No position was comfy. Think maybe I sat up alot on the couch today. Put alot of pressure on my owie. Still haven't taken the tape off stitches. Some have come off naturally n that's ok. Dr said we can start removing tape today but it doesn't look like or feel like it wants to come off. Oh well. No hurry to me. It's only been 15 days. Tina had Indian food delivered to us tonight. I didn't eat that much but was sooo good. Been loving the carbs lately, cereal, toast, bread bread!!! Can't do coffee m chemo!!! I'm so bummed!!! I better work from home while I'm on chemo for a while. Work look out!! Ready for pain pill n melatonin. Need to sleep/rest even though I'm not left the house.

5/1/12 meeting Dr. Shek-Oncologist

did some retail therapy this afternoon at Walmart to purchase some more short sleeved, button down shirts. they had more that I liked than 3 weeks ago. hmmm.
3:10pm met Dr. Shek. met with him for 2 hours with Daniel and my Dad. He told me that I had level 3/3 of agressive breast cancer but at stage 2 cancer. yes we caught it early but there were 3 lumps in the breast and it spread to 1/15 lymp nodes. he wants to start chemo (TCH) https://www.navigatingcancer.com/chemotherapy_treatments/tch-docetaxel-carboplatin-trastuzumab-breast
1 year then look at radiation after if needed. he wants to start right away like on 5/24. i have an appointment with the surgeon on 5/16, day after my 42nd b-day, to see how well i'm healing and give me some PT exercises. if he feels i'm healed at 100% then he'll give the go ahead for 5/24 chemo port instead of IV since i'm a bad stick with IV's. big possibility that the chemo will effect fertility. i'm going to be 42 and we don't have children at this time anyways. might freeze some eggs, might adopt a child or a dog:)... focus on me and me alone. i'm eager to live a long and healthier life.