Thursday, October 18, 2012

10/18/12

Yes one is allowed to go and see family whilst on disability. Seeing the Pham for few weeks was very much needed. Healing long distance is hard but they know I'm getting better and can see what I'm going through. Hard to show weakness in front of people. Have to keep reminding myself that I'm getting treated for cancer and this is not a cold. It's ok that from time to time I'll cancel plans, it's ok to sleep or lie down all day.
The other day I had a moment of weakness. Daniel was wearing his fight like a girl shirt. A lady was looking at him/his shirt looked at me then walked away. Stoic looking. I'm like huh. I looked at daniel then realized what shirt he was wearing and I started to cry. He was wearing a supportive shirt and it reminded me that it was me he was wearing it for. Sooo sucks. This month sucks, pink everywhere reminding me what disease I'm fighting for. I'm sure I'll get over it. My bedroom is pink I'm sure not going to paint anytime soon.
It's a fighting color and it's awareness I know. Can't be selfish when their are other people worse off than me. Ok im off my pedestal now.
Radiation starts 10/30-12/4 on the daily!!! Calgon take me away. I have 1 more merry maids gift card left that I will use shortly. Can't wait to get another lymphatic massage.

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